Surprise, surprise! I woke up, looked in the mirror and discovered I’m still here. You may have done the same; especially if you’re reading this. I mention this simply because the old end-of-the-world seers are at it again.

You may recall that one of my columns a few years back had focused on these prognosticators whose whole existence seems to be centered on foretelling the end of the world. When the sun rises the next day, they always have an excuse as to why we’re still here; the likes of which only Hollywood could conjure.

There were others, but the late Harold Camping, an 89-year-old evangelist, was notably one. After his second doomsday prediction of Friday, May 21, 2011 failed, he explained (with a straight face) how he miscalculated the math, missing it by only five months. It should have been Friday, Oct. 21.

I suppose that could happen to any octogenarian who may be suffering from advanced senility. Afterward, he said he really meant 14 months later. That would’ve made it Friday, December 21, 2012, the same day the Mayans picked. He never explained why it’s always a Friday, or the 21st of the month. If I missed that much, I’d find a new line of work. That, of course, was his fourth chance at predicting Armageddon and we’re still here.

Now there’s David Meade, a new clairvoyant on the block. While there have been numerous predictions of Armageddon, this one is apparently real; at least it is for conspiracy theorists. It’s based in part by what Meade said in his book, "The 2017 Arrival." Apparently, it had to do with the solar eclipse of Aug. 21 in conjunction with the planet Nibiru, and when Nibiru would collide with the earth.

What’s that? You say you’ve never heard of the planet Nibiru? Well relax. Neither has anyone else, including the National Aeronautic and Space Administration. So don’t expect little green, eyeball bulging Nibirucians with bobbing antennae extending from behind their ears scaring you into believing Meade and his ill ilk.

This latest nut predicted the world would end on Saturday, Sept. 23, 2017 (at least the day and date were changed). Nibiru would reportedly collide with Earth, ending civilization as we know it. The next day he picked another date, Oct. 15, 2017 and now says it’s this new date that may usher in the earth’s destruction.

Whew! These errors are enough for St. Peter to pull a Donald Trump and tell these guys, "You’re fired."

According to various news sources, Meade claims the August solar eclipse was a huge forerunner and had doomsday conspiracy theorists claiming that Nibiru’s earthly collision would cause Armageddon. As proof, these not-so-swift conspiracy theorists wretchedly cite the devastating hurricanes that decimated the Caribbean, and the earthquakes that rocked Mexico.

If you fear the world is ending, you should know that the British Ministry of Defense (MoD) slammed the doomsday theorists; mainly due to no hard scientific evidence underpinning these latest claims; that it's just the same old doomsday nonsense they've seen time and again.

Sadly, it’s laughable. But the worst case scenario is tragic. The vulnerable could be pushed toward suicide if they think the world's going to end in a few days.

Even NASA purged these rumors. Accordingly, a fictitious story claimed Nibiru was a creative planet of the ancient Sumerians and is headed toward Earth. This catastrophe was first predicted for May 2003. When nothing happened the doomsday date was advanced to 2012 and linked to one of the cycles in the ancient Mayan calendar for the winter solstice.

But just in case both the MoD and NASA are wrong, let’s all hope none of them gets it right. And then pray St. Peter never replaces these screwballs.

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