We all know how dangerous it is to text and drive. But the dangers of texting while grocery shopping could be even greater. Especially for those who keep getting in my way.

We all know how dangerous it is to text and drive. But the dangers of texting while grocery shopping could be even greater. Especially for those who keep getting in my way.


Over the weekend I had some serious grocery shopping to do. Two weeks ago my regular shopping trip didn’t happen because my son had rolled the car a few times and even though his injuries were (miraculously) very minor, grocery shopping was off my radar.


Last weekend, no grocery trip took place because we were busy car shopping instead.


My pantry and fridge were looking like Old Mother Hubbard’s cupboard by the time I finally had a chance to do more than pick up a couple of odds and ends.


I was there on a serious mission to replenish my stock of staples, but apparently most of my fellow shoppers had come to the store for a different reason.


They were there not to do some serious stocking up but to do some serious catching up with friends via texts.


In almost every aisle, people were hunched over their carts, tapping away at their phones, paying no attention to the people trying to pass around them or get to the food on the shelves they were blocking.


I used to be annoyed by people who talked nonstop on their cellphones in the grocery store, calling home every few minutes to ask their family members to check if there was already another bottle of ketchup in the pantry and then calling again to see what kind of cereal their kid wanted.


But now I long for those days, because a person who is yakking away on a cellphone can still manage to walk, look around, and move when they notice they’re in somebody’s way.


Not so the texters, whose eyes are staring straight down and mostly cannot be budged without the aid of explosives — although there are some who like to pretend they can do two things at once by slowly shuffling along as they text.


Even though they never look up, the shufflers aren’t in danger of hitting you, though, because the average slug moves faster. They resemble nothing so much as the zombies in the “Night of the Living Dead.” This might, in fact, explain why zombies are the hot horror franchise right now — because so many people are halfway to being zombies already.


When did texting nonstop, regardless of what’s going on around you, become acceptable?


I personally find texting annoying, so much so that I recently had texts blocked from my phone. I thought that in this way I was finally free of the irritating practice, but obviously I didn’t anticipate that I’d still have to deal with texters out in public.


I didn’t understand for the longest time why my children preferred to text rather than call their friends. Then after a two-week period in which my son probably damaged his thumbs by carrying on a nonstop conversation with a girlfriend I didn’t even know he had, I finally figured it out: They text when they do not want their mothers to know who they’re talking to. Or what they’re saying.


OK, so that makes sense to me, but surely not every person in the grocery store is carrying on a hot secret romance, right? And if they are, can’t they do it somewhere besides the grocery store?


Please, put down the darned phone and just do your shopping. If you absolutely must text your daughter to ask her what kind of yogurt she wants, please find a corner out of everybody’s way.


Better yet, do the old-fashioned, low-tech thing and make a list of what you need before leaving home.


You will be surprised how much faster your shopping trips will be, not to mention safer: If somebody mistakes you for a real zombie and tries to cut off your head, don’t say I didn’t warn you.


Michelle Teheux may be reached at mteheux@pekintimes.com.