I’ve got a friend named Jack who writes books, the latest being “The Big Policeman,” a gripping non-fiction account of legendary 19th-century New York City cop Thomas Byrnes that would make an excellent summer read. (I told you he was a friend.)

I’ve got a friend named Jack who writes books, the latest being “The Big Policeman,” a gripping non-fiction account of legendary 19th-century New York City cop Thomas Byrnes that would make an excellent summer read. (I told you he was a friend.)


I remember some years back talking to him about a book he’d recently finished on the Cape Cod Canal. Like all of his non-fiction works, it required lots and lots of research.


It coincided with the release of another book that immediately shot to the top of the bestseller list, Dennis Rodman’s biography, “Bad as I Wanna Be.” This led the two of us to surmise that a book’s success might not always be totally predicated on literary merit. Jack grew rather animated during the discussion, as I recall.


I was reminded of the conversation this week when I read a blurb about 20-year-old Bristol Palin’s soon-to-be-released memoir, “Not Afraid of Life: My Journey So Far.”


Bristol certainly earned her fame the hard way. She’s Sarah Palin’s daughter. If you don’t plan on reading the book, she apparently rips the father of her 2 1/2-year-old son Tripp, calling him a “gnat.”


But don’t worry about alleged gnat Levi Johnston being unfairly labeled. His chance to retort will come with this fall’s release of his memoir, “Deer in the Headlights: My Life in Sarah Palin’s Crosshairs.”


It inspired me to speculate on some other Palin tell-all books that could be whipped up in time for release this Christmas.


· “Life’s a Tripp: My Unpampered Years” in which 3-year-old Tripp Palin recounts his struggles with toilet training while under the microscope of a relentless national media. In the book it’s revealed by a heartbroken Bristol Palin that the toddler’s first words were, “spin doctor.”


· “Less than Purr-fect: My Nine Lives with the Palins” in which the Palin’s pet cat, Mister Toodles, describes the anguish he felt when news that he had been “fixed” was leaked to the press. A distraught family spokesman said Mr. Toodles wouldn’t touch his squeaky toys for a week following the revelation.


· “Lineup: A Look Back in Anger” in which a former third grade classmate of Bristol Palin relives the day Bristol cut ahead of her in the lunch line, sending the famished 8-year-old into a downward spiral of despair.


· “The Last Mile: They Ran Me Ragged” in which the Palin family’s treadmill provides a frank, unvarnished look at their exercise habits.


Now all I’ll need to do to market these tomes and make the big bucks is find a literary agent.


But I don’t think I’ll ask Jack.


Frank Mulligan is an editor in GateHouse Media New England’s Plymouth, Mass., office, and can be reached at fmulligan@wickedlocal.com.