I felt guilty for years about the way I ate. I didn’t stop eating things that were bad for me, but I let it bother me. Then a peculiar thing started to happen. The longer I took to start improving my diet, the less I had to eliminate from it.
“Avocados. I made the pits too big.”
That’s what George Burns, in his role as the Creator in the movie “Oh, God,” expressed as a regret about his grand design of the universe.
That was pretty much his only complaint about them. I could see his point.
Well, for years a lot of skinny scientists and some well-put-together dietitians thought they knew more than God, or at least more than someone who impersonated him. They said avocados were bad for us. Avocados were filled with fat. And all fat was bad, until researchers changed their minds, and some of it was good again. As it turned out, avocado fat was great. It helped our hearts.
I’m only telling you this because some of you are going to serve avocado dip at a Super Bowl party and I didn’t want you to feel guilty about it. If anybody has a heart attack at your party, it probably isn’t the food, it’s because their team fumbled.
I felt guilty for years about the way I ate. I didn’t stop eating things that were bad for me, but I let it bother me. I thought putting on a sad face was at least an acknowledgment of a poor diet. I figured that was a good start.
Then a peculiar thing started to happen. The longer I took to start improving my diet, the less I had to eliminate from it.
I kept chocolate for starters. I remember the day — it was like Christmas — that I learned chocolate didn’t just rot your teeth, it served up antioxidants. Talk about a good thing to have in you. Whenever you see something with antioxidants, you should eat it. I have no idea what antioxidants do. But, if somebody wants to start handing out candy bars because antioxidants are in them, I don’t ask questions.
Next I felt secure in ordering eggs in restaurants without hiding it by winking at the waitress and pointing to a special on the chalk board, then mouthing the words “easy over.” Yeah, right, eggs were high in cholesterol, but, as scientists started to say a while back, “Never mind.” Egg haters began to see that they also give you nutrients and vitamins and something else that’s good for your eyes. So, I’ve been openly eating eggs lately, and I believe I’m reading the menu better.
I even put butter on my toast. Researchers have claimed it’s bad, but now they admit it’s better than margarine. So, I slather some on my baked potatoes, as well, now that experts no longer believe that eating potatoes is as detrimental to your health. All I really need out of life is to be on the right side of a comparison.
Page 2 of 2 - GREAT NEWS
Now comes the really good news. Coffee is a health drink.
Just recently, as I was downing a cup of java, I read something that said “habitual” coffee drinkers — and I was about to get another cup, so I figure I qualify — are practically health nuts.
Granted, this is nothing new, but I’ve spent a lot of time on coffee breaks, so I must have missed a lot of news. According to an article by Nicholas Bakalar that was published in 2006 by the New York Times, coffee is a “highly beneficial drink.”
“Researchers have found strong evidence that coffee reduces the risk of several serious ailments,” the article said, “including diabetes, heart disease and cirrhosis of the liver.”
That’s good because experts also determined somewhere along the way that red wine is good for you.
The scientific jury is still out on my cream sticks, pizza, greasy burgers and onion rings. But, I figure if I wait long enough, my diet will be healthful again. Sort of.