Cameras are everywhere. Cities have figured out how to make you pay.
It’s one thing to have a couple of musty snapshots in your wallet. It’s another thing to be in a grocery checkout with a woman chortling over her excessively cute grandkids in 178 pages of Twitter pix.
I hate to see someone approach with a computer tablet in hand.
“I’m rude, but my Popsicles are melting.”
“I understand. Here, look at these, Timmy’s first solo on the toilet.”
“Ummm. So cute.”
“And here he is putting a carrot in his sister’s ear.”
“Oh my, the humanity.”
“What do you mean by that?”
I was hoping that perhaps his sister punched him senseless, but no, only 168 more cute pages to go.
My sister and I were so fortunate not to grow up in the Internet age. We were free to pick our noses without the whole world watching. There are 15,000 nose pickers on YouTube plus “people who pick their noses while driving.” Two million views.
Film once was too expensive for such frivolity. Not now. Might as well figure you’re always on camera. I show my hands in the drugstore line to separate me from the kleptos raiding the candy counter.
I was at a shooting crime scene. Every onlooker was lensing everything, including the squirrels. I felt sorry for the cops.
“Look, he’s dusting for prints.” Stampede to get the shot.
Since everything else is photographed, why not shoot people who run red lights? Our town for the third time is debating this pesky issue.
Frankly, I think it could be the worst thing for our downtown. We’ll never trust the cameras, even if we obey the law. They seem so, I don’t know ... Nazi.
So welcome to downtown and your $75 ticket’s in the mail, sucker. Visa accepted.
The camera company has a vested interest to write tickets at the speed of their laser printers. They get a lot of the money. How is this any different than that thoroughly ridiculed Southern motorcycle cop behind the billboard?
Oh, cams have a warning sign. It’s over there someplace behind the 78 other signs.
It does prove how disconnected bureaucrats can be. In Cleveland, they lined the thoroughfares to the Cleveland Clinic with these digital eyeballs, knowing they’d harvest unknowing out-of-towners. There was a woman on Cleveland TV from Akron who got more than 100 tickets, mostly for less than 5 miles over the speed limit. She had the audacity to visit her gravely sick husband.
Of course, no cameras around the sports stadiums or the casino. We must be realistic about this.
I hope the easy-cash pols realize that most people who get a ticket in the mail will despise and demean Canton for the rest of their lives and avoid it whenever possible. Smart PR, men, keep up the good work.