Forget about the awards for best picture and best actor: do you know what film cleaned up at the 31st annual Golden Razzie Awards on Feb. 26?
Most movie fans know that "The King's Speech" made an impressive showing last month at the 83rd annual Academy Awards, winning best picture, best director, best actor and best original screenplay after receiving 12 nominations.
But how many fans know what film cleaned up at the 31st annual Golden Razzie Awards on Feb. 26? While the Oscars honor excellence, the Razzies "honor" incompetence, and no film in 2010 could match the stupefying incompetence of "The Last Airbender." Receiving nine nominations, the film won worst picture, worst director (M. Night Shyamalan), worst screenplay (Shyamalan), worst supporting actor (Jackson Rathbone) and worst eye-gouging misuse of 3-D.
"The Twilight Saga: Eclipse" managed to tie "Airbender" with nine nominations but only captured one award: worst supporting actor (Rathbone was in that film, too). All the principal actors of "Twilight" were nominated, however.
Rounding out the award winners: the worst actor prize went to Ashton Kutcher for "Killers" and "Valentine's Day." Worst actress was shared by the four female stars of "Sex and the City 2" -- Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon. Jessica Alba snared the worst supporting actress award for "The Killer Inside Me," "Little Fockers," "Machete" and "Valentine's Day." The worst screen couple/worst screen ensemble was bestowed upon the entire cast of "Sex and the City 2." The worst prequel, remake, ripoff or sequel also went to "Sex and the City 2."
For the record, here's a complete list of the nominees:
WORST PICTURE: "The Bounty Hunter," "The Last Airbender," "Sex and the City 2," "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse" and "Vampires Suck"
WORST ACTOR: Jack Black, "Gulliver's Travels"; Gerard Butler, "The Bounty Hunter"; Ashton Kutcher, "Killers" and "Valentine's Day"; Taylor Lautner, "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse" and "Valentine's Day"; and Robert Pattinson, "Remember Me" and "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse"
WORST ACTRESS: Jennifer Aniston, "The Bounty Hunter" and "The Switch"; Miley Cyrus, "The Last Song"; Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon, "Sex and the City 2"; Megan Fox, "Jonah Hex"; and Kristen Stewart, "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse"
WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Jessica Alba, "The Killer Inside Me," "Little Fockers," "Machete" and "Valentine's Day"; Cher, "Burlesque"; Liza Minnelli, "Sex and the City 2"; Nicola Peltz, "The Last Airbender"; and Barbra Streisand, "Little Fockers"
WORST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Billy Ray Cyrus, "The Spy Next Door"; George Lopez, "Marmaduke," "The Spy Next Door" and "Valentine's Day"; Dev Patel, "The Last Airbender"; Jackson Rathbone, "The Last Airbender" and "Twilight Saga: Eclipse"; and Rob Schneider, "Grown Ups"
WORST EYE-GOUGING MISUSE OF 3-D (a special category in 2010): "Cats and Dogs: Revenge of Kitty Galore," "Clash of the Titans," "The Last Airbender," "Nutcracker 3-D" and "Saw 3-D"
WORST SCREEN COUPLE/WORST SCREEN ENSEMBLE: Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler, "The Bounty Hunter"; Josh Brolin's face and Megan Fox's accent, "Jonah Hex"; the entire cast of "The Last Airbender"; the entire cast of "Sex and the City 2"; and the entire cast of "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse"
WORST DIRECTOR: Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, "Vampires Suck"; Michael Patrick King, "Sex and the City 2"; M. Night Shyamalan, "The Last Airbender"; David Slade, "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse"; and Sylvester Stallone, "The Expendables."
WORST SCREENPLAY: "The Last Airbender," written by M. Night Shyamalan, based on the TV series created by Michael Dante DiMartino and Brian Konietzko; "Little Fockers," written by John Hamburg and Larry Stuckey, based on characters created by Greg Glenna and Mary Roth Clarke; "Sex and the City 2," written by Michael Patrick King, based on the TV series created by Darren Star; "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse," screenplay by Melissa Rosenberg, based on the novel by Stephenie Meyer; and "Vampires Suck" written by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer
WORST PREQUEL, REMAKE, RIP-OFF OR SEQUEL (a combined category for 2010): "Clash of the Titans," "The Last Airbender," "Sex and the City 2," "The Twilight Saga: Eclipse" and "Vampires Suck"
While there's no denying all these "winners" deserve to get trashed for their total lack of quality, the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation did neglect a few unworthy films and wretched thespians. Though "The Last Airbender" rates as a multiple-gobble turkey, it's a masterpiece compared to "Furry Vengeance," hands-down or paws-down the worst film of 2010.
The film stars Brendan Fraser as a schlub who's put in charge of transforming a nature reserve into a housing development. The reserve's animal denizens object to the plan and subject Fraser to all forms of beastly humiliation, none of which is remotely funny. Children deserve better than this cinematic turd. Heck, animals deserve better.
As for worst actor, any time Martin Lawrence appears in a movie, he automatically deserves consideration since he's the worst actor working in films today. Kutcher comes off as Laurence Olivier compared to Martin Lawrence. And just as bad luck would have it, Lawrence was in a movie last year - the totally rancid "Death at a Funeral."
The only saving grace is that Lawrence wasn't the film's star so we're spared the full-scale onslaught of his one-note shtick and lame facial expressions. I suppose that means he should get worst supporting actor, but he was surpassed in wholesale rottenness last year by the second worst actor working in films today. That would be Rob Schneider. While he got nominated for a Razzie for "Grown Ups," Schneider should have won. Rathbone could have a frontal lobotomy and still not match Schneider's excruciating ineptitude. Rob was robbed.
Note to Razzie voters: Lawrence is starring in a movie this year "Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son," so here's your chance to give the award to an actor who has turned imbecility into an art form.
Another actor meriting a Razzie nomination last year was Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, who becomes a tooth fairy in "The Tooth Fairy." The film was more painful than having molars removed with rusty pliers.
On the worst actress front, it's tough to argue with the cast of "Sex and the City 2." Sadly overlooked from the nominee list, however, was Amanda Seyfried, who made a forest full of redwoods envious with her wooden performance in "Letters to Juliet."
The worst ensemble award should have gone to everyone associated with the "Fockers" franchise, as it holds the dubious distinction of being the worst films ever made featuring three, count them, three thespians who have won best acting Oscars: Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand. The film represents a monumental embarrassment to acting.
For trivia freaks, in 2009, Sandra Bullock became the first actress to win an Oscar ("The Blind Side") and a Razzie ("All About Steve") in the same year. Halle Berry has won both awards, too, but in different years. Both actresses also picked up their awards in person. Shyamalan didn't have the sixth sense to pick up all of his.
It's now time for TRIVIA.
Last month's tester: Who was nominated for an Oscar as best director only three times with every year pitting him against the same director who would be nominated four times? Clue: The thrice-nominated director won the first time, the four-time nominee won the second time and both lost the third time. Name both directors.
Answer: Bob Fosse and Francis Ford Coppola.
Robert Paget of Framingham, Mass., was the first reader to answer the question correctly. Congratulations!
This month's tester: What 1980s movie provided the final film roles for two well-known actors? One received five Golden Globe nominations, winning once; the other received two Oscar nominations, winning once. Clue: The film's star has been nominated for seven Golden Globes. Name the movie, the actors and the star.
The first reader to answer the trivia question correctly will receive a glass jar of thoughtfulness from Kind Notes containing more than 30 mini-notes with inspirational messages in individual envelopes meant to be opened daily. The retail value is $36. For more information, visit www.kindnotes.com.
Trivia enthusiasts can call me at 508-626-4409 or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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Answers will be accepted until 5 p.m. on Tuesday, March 15. Good luck!
MORE SNOW MOVIES: Regarding last month's column on memorable snow movies, a reader e-mailed three suggestions: "Call of the Wild," "Into the Wild" and "Seven Years in Tibet." Since he mentioned Jack London's "Call of the Wild," how about London's "White Fang"?