With high school graduations right around the corner, I already had the joy of sitting through the college version this past weekend.
My brother Thomas, who graduated from Ohio Northern University on Sunday along with 600-plus other students, gave me the opportunity to sit.
A lot.
There was the two plus hour drive to reach Ada, the land of the Polar Bears. Do you know how many turns you make to get there from my house?
Four.
That shouldn't be possible, but oh yes, it is. Four stinking turns for more than two hours of driving. You stay straight so long you start to wonder if there is an edge of the earth to drive off of.
At least that possibility would have made the experience more exciting.
The ceremony was like any other. Listen to a speaker, hear some people sing, lots of names being called and the joy of sitting in a cushion-less seat for three-and-a-half hours.
The one cool thing - besides the air conditioning actually worked - was they did the ceremony on the indoor track. My brother spent plenty of time in there while he ran cross country and track for ONU.
Still, that didn't make it much more fun. Playing “I see something (insert color here)” with my fiance only killed so much time, especially when she can't find the largest objects in the room for 20-30 minutes.
Thomas walked the stage and the ceremony finally ended.
The school has four major areas of study, each having their own parties at their respective buildings. Engineering, Thomas’ major, you would think means lots of money to put toward food. Nope – just orange flavored-juice and some icky vegetables.
Had he gradated from the pharmacy department, we could have enjoyed music, catered food and who knows, maybe they were handing out free cash.
Clearly, I should have pretended to be the brother of somebody else.
We helped packed his stuff and then headed back. Yes, I remembered all four turns successfully on the return trip. I don't want you to think I can’t put my college education to good use.
Now Thomas is back home, and I couldn't be happier. Working from dawn 'til dusk here at the newspaper means a lot of late dinners, so now he can cook instead of me.
Plus a tree branch fell down in the backyard of our house that needs cut into pieces and tied up – he's got plenty of time for that since he has no job yet.
Not to mention there are numerous rooms in the house in need of cleaning.
What? It's not child slave labor. He's over 18.
So remember, when your graduates come home for the summer, make sure they feel missed – put them to work.
They are supposed to learn about responsibility sometime, right?
Andrew may be reached at 330-899-2872, ext. 20 or by
e-mail at andrew.adam@thesuburbanite.com
