Last week my wife and I, along with our two daughters, had to make a very difficult decision. This decision was one that broke all of our hearts. 

For Dori, it was the right choice for us to make. In fact, it was the only one choice in light of the facts. Nonetheless, it still pains us to say that we had to put our beloved dog, Dori, to sleep as her death was near.

We tried not to think her passing was near. Yet, Dori had been acting strangely during what came to be her few last days.

You may recall that Dori had been having a problem with a tooth abscess. We thought that her behavior was due to the pain of the abscess. However, Dori began having trouble eating, and eliminating bodily wastes. She started trying to sleep under the furniture.

After talking with our daughters, we decided that it would be best to take Dori to the 24-hour veterinary hospital that evening. We thought Dori may have had a lot of pain because of an abscess. We went to the animal hospital, thinking that they would just give us some medicine to help her with some mild scheduled surgery. 

However, none of us were prepared for the diagnosis. Dori was experiencing acute kidney failure. Beyond that, we learned that she had a large mass in her stomach which was likely cancerous. 

The veterinarian said that we could take her home, but if we did, we would be taking her home to die. Or, she said, we could admit her to the hospital for them to submit her to a battery of tests and treatments. Yet, she said, this was unlikely to help. 

It eventually became obvious that the only humane course of action would be to put Dori to sleep, and out of her misery. We were completely unprepared for this.

Of course, we knew that Dori was not going to live forever, but we had not had much of a chance to come to terms with the idea that very soon  we would have to say goodbye. 

Dori was like another daughter to us, a little Princess of the household. Not having her with us has been such a huge loss for us. 

My wife and I had so many of our household routines tailored around Dori’s needs, so it is very difficult for us to try  getting used to her not being here. She is no longer here to lick out our cereal bowls at breakfast, or go on a morning walk after we got out of bed and got dressed. 

We had to stop ourselves from saving her a bite of meat from our dinners. There were lots of little things like that, probably more than most people would imagine.

She was one of the best-behaved dogs as well. Visitors to our home commented on it. Dori hardly ever barked, unless she was trying to get our attention about something. 
She listened very well. We could set a plate full of pork chops or BBQ ribs on the floor next to her, and she would not touch them unless we told her it was OK.  How many dogs have that level of self-control?

We all loved Dori – not just as a pet, but more like a fine member of our family.  I suppose the only people who can really understand what this feels like are other pet owners who have lost pets. Our little girl in heaven will be greatly missed.

Reach Paul R. Harbaugh at
prharbaugh@hotmail.com