You sitting down? Good! Because what I'm about to write may make your ol' peepers jump right out of their sockets. So don't be surprised if you're told you need your glasses changed.

Anyone who lived through The Great Depression – and those numbers are thinning considerably by the day  – or anyone whose parents lived through those times – shudder at the sight of any type of money, even pennies, being wasted. For indeed, there was a time when pennies, let alone, nickels, dimes, quarters and dollar bills, were hard to come by.

Yes, times are tough now – we all know that – but they were even tougher during the Depression.

This story will validate your faith, or at least it should.

I used to be one of the normal parents. Let your kid play, and leave them be, was always my train of thought – one even more enforced in my mind when witnessing one of the crazy sports parents.

Except for something changed during my daughter's past volleyball season. I have crossed over to the other side. It's embarrassing and I hate to even admit I am one of “those parents.” I am aware it isn't beneficial for either me, or my daughter. Yet, I can't seem to stop myself. One of the highlights of my week is when my daughter has a game. I am thrilled by every play, every win and every success I see Maggie and her teammates have on the court.

OKAY EVERYONE… students too. It's time for history lessons. Now before your teacher accuses me of being a few eggs shy of an omelet, I'll assure you the following is documented. It's just we've been taught the more popular renditions of these historical incidents, rather than what actually happened.

It is always the attempt of Page, Stage & Screen to not only keep readers abreast of the latest and greatest in free or nearly free fare available throughout the Stark and Summit county library systems and beyond, but to also keep you abreast of current events. OK, that is the attempt, at least. This week, however, the planets (frozen or otherwise) have certainly converged as we recommend a nature documentary in honor of Earth Day, a true-life secret service story in honor of… Columbia, I guess, and a book from an old favorite author so new it has yet to be released.

DON'T YOU JUST love the strange names of today's bands? The Hot Banana Cold Bandanna Chili Peppers. Or A Hole in the Right Rear of My Left Shoe. Or Flat Tires and Cracked Blockheads! I crack up every time I hear one of these. Can you imagine parents giving newborns those names? 

What ever happened to the Dave Clark Five, the Four Freshmen or Bill Allen and the Keynotes? There seems to be an unwritten rule. If the band's name isn't bizarre, make it so. Otherwise no one will ever follow you.

Most of the time the content we publish comes together without a hitch.
Last week, it didn’t work out that way, but, thankfully, a reader came to our rescue.

This week’s “Page Stage and Screen” picks – all available at your local Stark and Summit County library branches – are dedicated to the very spring-ly message of rebirth and trying something new.  Like, say, entering a poetry contest, or exploring rock music played on cellos, or maybe even getting political by writing your favorite book publisher and urging them not to put a cramp in your Kindle by discontinuing the practice of allowing libraries to purchase titles in the e-book format – which, as you’ll see, some book publishing heavies are beginning to do.

Are we traveling back in time? Is the year 1984? Much has been reported recently about companies asking potential employees for their social network passwords. On one hand there's the argument if you've nothing to hide, why worry. Submit your password. Chances are you'll get the job. Refuse, and you're likely to keep looking.

Even though you were elected to carry out the will of the people, you did something that the people, by the disapproval they have voiced, obviously did not want: the recent firing of longtime Green Athletic Director Mark Pfaff. (Let’s call it what it was, a firing of a faithful employee of the school system for nearly a quarter-century overall.)

Here's the question of the week: would you bet that building a racino in a corn field on Greensburg Road will make Green very rich?
I know, that's one of those, “Duh,” questions. If you build it, they will come – and spend lots and lots of money. It's pretty much a sure thing.

I still remember the exact moments I was bullied at my all-girls' parochial school, starting at about the same age my daughter is now. It felt as if a giant spotlight was shining down on me and a booming voice was screaming the words: “You're a loser. You don't fit in.You should just disappear.”

Come this October, the wife and I will be married 40 years. After all that time, you learn the loves and fears of your mate... or you should have. For example, while I hate snakes, Peggy's an arachnophob. For me to say, “Hold still, Sweety, while I brush that spider off your shoulder” would send her into hysterics… and probably make me a soon-to-be divorcee. I'd never have time to save her by saying, “April Fools!” 

Granted, he is the Boss. And unlike many a musician, Bruce Springsteen actually has earned his title. But even some stalwart Springsteen-philes would have been dubious of a prediction that put our boy’s 17th album release at number one on the Billboard charts St. Patrick’s Day week – bumping Grammy standout Adele to the number two spot.

But there Wrecking Ball was, in all its bombastic glory, an album that could have (for better or worse) as easily been coined “All But the Kitchen Sink.” Reviews of Springsteen’s 1973 debut “Greetings From Asbury Park, N.J.” lamented that the artist seemed to be cramming everything he had onto one album, as if he may not get another shot. Turns out he got plenty, but nearly 40 years on, Wrecking Ball is Springsteen cramming in everything else.

First came the Rex family. Then there were the Thorntons. After that the Krugers arrived. William R. "Bill" Kruger, Jr. was part of that Kruger family who settled here in the Portage Lakes early in the 20th century. He was one of the very first persons I happened upon after moving here.

Success in high school sports isn’t always about winning.

In fact, that’s the case a lot of times.

Having said that, then, let us introduce you to this year’s Green boys basketball team.

The Bulldogs won a lot of games this year, but they didn’t capture the Suburban League crown. That honor went to coach Matt Cash, a Green

High product and Green resident, and his Nordonia Knights.

The only real championship they earned was in the Alliance Division I Sectional.

Despite that, though, the Bulldogs had a lot of success this year.

It came with how they played in the tournament.

Since we met four months ago, tens of thousands of you have been making your way to our  website, www.thesuburbanite.com and have visited our Facebook page. So, first – thanks. It’s so cool to see our very own electronic ‘Burb growing by leaps and bounds.
If you haven’t stopped by, please give us a look. (Just Google facebook.com/thesuburbanite.) Those who have visited the website have found photo galleries on memorable sports seasons in Manchester, Jackson, Green and Lake, received quarter-by-quarter Facebook updates on semifinal basketball games, as well as breaking news updates on weather and rush hour traffic snafus.