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Portage Lakes, Ohio —
Come this October, the wife and I will be married 40 years. After all that time, you learn the loves and fears of your mate... or you should have. For example, while I hate snakes, Peggy's an arachnophob. For me to say, “Hold still, Sweety, while I brush that spider off your shoulder” would send her into hysterics… and probably make me a soon-to-be divorcee. I'd never have time to save her by saying, “April Fools!”
That's the risk one takes when trying to pull a classic April Fools’ prank on a loved one. It shouldn't be, because that's the one time of the year we should be expecting shenanigans… after all, it does follow St. Paddy's Day, and if there's just a wee smidgen of Irish in ye, me lad, it's to be expected.
According to some, it all started in France under Charles IX when the Gregorian calendar was introduced. This was back in the late 16th century when the world still celebrated New Year's week from March 25 to April 1. The new calendar moved it back to Jan. 1.
Because news traveled at a snail's pace in those days, many learned of the change years later. Other stubborn and more rebellious people ignored the change and continued celebrating on the last day of the previous New Year’s week (April 1).
Consequently, these folks were called “fools” and sometimes were sent on “Gag Errands.” Often times they'd receive invitations to non-existent parties and were the butt of other pranks. This tradition eventually spread to England and Scotland. The English and French introduced it to the colonies.
In Scotland, April Fools' Day is devoted to spoofs and is called Taily Day. The origins of the “Kick Me” sign can be traced back to the Scottish observance. In England, jokes are played only in the morning. Fools are called “gobs” and the victim of a joke is called a “noodle.” It was considered bad luck to play a practical joke on someone after noon.
Here in America many classics have been pulled. In 2007 a news item spread that anyone could now purchase “Cloned Celebrity Parts.” You've already had liposuction, facelifts and tummy tucks but now you want a chin like Jay Leno? Certain assets like Dolly Pardon? Or a brain like Einstein? No problem! Just buy the cloned parts of celebrities. If you want to live like a celebrity why not let them share their parts?
Come this October, the wife and I will be married 40 years. After all that time, you learn the loves and fears of your mate... or you should have. For example, while I hate snakes, Peggy's an arachnophob. For me to say, “Hold still, Sweety, while I brush that spider off your shoulder” would send her into hysterics… and probably make me a soon-to-be divorcee. I'd never have time to save her by saying, “April Fools!”
That's the risk one takes when trying to pull a classic April Fools’ prank on a loved one. It shouldn't be, because that's the one time of the year we should be expecting shenanigans… after all, it does follow St. Paddy's Day, and if there's just a wee smidgen of Irish in ye, me lad, it's to be expected.
According to some, it all started in France under Charles IX when the Gregorian calendar was introduced. This was back in the late 16th century when the world still celebrated New Year's week from March 25 to April 1. The new calendar moved it back to Jan. 1.
Because news traveled at a snail's pace in those days, many learned of the change years later. Other stubborn and more rebellious people ignored the change and continued celebrating on the last day of the previous New Year’s week (April 1).
Consequently, these folks were called “fools” and sometimes were sent on “Gag Errands.” Often times they'd receive invitations to non-existent parties and were the butt of other pranks. This tradition eventually spread to England and Scotland. The English and French introduced it to the colonies.
In Scotland, April Fools' Day is devoted to spoofs and is called Taily Day. The origins of the “Kick Me” sign can be traced back to the Scottish observance. In England, jokes are played only in the morning. Fools are called “gobs” and the victim of a joke is called a “noodle.” It was considered bad luck to play a practical joke on someone after noon.
Here in America many classics have been pulled. In 2007 a news item spread that anyone could now purchase “Cloned Celebrity Parts.” You've already had liposuction, facelifts and tummy tucks but now you want a chin like Jay Leno? Certain assets like Dolly Pardon? Or a brain like Einstein? No problem! Just buy the cloned parts of celebrities. If you want to live like a celebrity why not let them share their parts?
The Camp David being opened to the public prank made the rounds in 2010. For a reasonable fee you can now book a room from any of the cabins, take part in activities and even run through the secret tunnel, the prank read. A photo of the president and a Camp David souvenir is even included.
Another classic made its way across the country just last year, one that made the all-American male sit up and take note. “Scientists Discover How to Create Life with Minerals, Chemicals and Sunlight” the headline read in 2011. An explanation detailed how the human body is composed of oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen and other good ingredients.
For the first time in history, scientists at various institutes of higher learning have discovered by adding these elements which are the basic building blocks to mankind in a scientific bell jar, along with other proprietary minerals and chemicals with just the right amount of sunlight, life as we know it will spontaneously appear and grow.
In 1994, a proposed bill prohibited using the Internet while drunk or discussing sexual matters over a public network. The bill could be used by the FBI to tap the phone lines of one who “uses or abuses alcohol” while operating on the Information Highway. The contact person was listed as Lirpa Sloof (April Fools spelled backwards). Senator Edward Kennedy was alleged to be the culprit and strangely, no one was the wiser. He and the Congress were swamped with so many outraged phone calls a news release was issued explaining it was all an April Fools’ prank originated by others.
And in 1997, an email message circulated that the Internet would be shut down from March 31 until April 2 for the cleansing of “electronic flotsam and jetsam” from the network that included purging dead email and gopher sites.
So this year let's try passing along the story about soups finally being made for lefthanders. This would include clam chowder where clams would only be on the left side of the bowl, split pea soups where peas would be split on the left side and tomato soups where ripe tomatoes would remain hot in the left side enabling you to eat it with a left handed fork!
And if anyone offers you a million dollars today, just say, “No, thank you,” and leave.
Comments may be emailed to: Frankweaverjr@aol.com
