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The Suburbanite
  • 1860s Movie Critic Jebidiah Atkinson Slams Oscars During Colin Jost's 'Weekend Update' Debut

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  • Business Insider
    Weekend Update colonial"Saturday Night Live" cast member Taran Killam resumed his harsh, 1860s newspaper critic character "Jebidiah Atkinson" on "Weekend Update," just in time to slam Oscar-nominated films.
    "I've been witness to every motion picture since the dawn of cinema and I'm not impressed," Atkinson began.
    Here's his critiques of some of this year's Best Picture nominees:
    • "Her": "Guess who was bored by this movie? Him! [points to himself] Even the main character spent the whole movie texting."
    • "Dallas Buyer's Club": "Sell! The only thing thinner than Matthew McConaughey is the plot."
    • "Gravity": "If I wanted to watch a depressed middle-ages woman float around for 90 minutes, I'd go to the YMCA pool."
    And some reviews of older, Oscar-nominated films:
    • "The Godfather": "This film left me thinking one thing: I wish I was that horse."
    • "Annie Hall": "I'd rather let Woody Allen watch my kids than watch this movie again."
    • "Schindler's List": "You know what wasn't on Schindler's list? An editor."
    • "Forrest Gump": "You know which character in Forrest Gump I envy? Lieutenant Dan's legs. Because they got to leave early."
    Watch the full, funny segment below:
    The show also marked cast member Colin Jost's debut as the new "Weekend Update" co-anchor, alongside Cecily Strong. Jost assumes the role after Seth Meyers left to host "Late Night."
    In his debut segment, Jost rifts on everything from Pop Tarts being a symbol of lack of parenting skills to comparing Piers Morgan to a potato. Watch below:
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